Concise Writing for Video Games

First Off:

Here we are, I'm back! I was never anywhere but here, but, I am back in the mood to write design articles.

I think what frightened me off is the amount of work that I'm doing at college, and on Pokemon Universe, as well as working, trying to catch up with friends, and gaming taking up a lot of my time. This coupled with the fact that when I wrote articles they were often a full day investment and usually had over 2000 words, meant that I was struggling to find the time and will to write.

To help myself, I have decided to change my style a little. Though, this is also to help people read my articles. While I enjoy describing my design ideas and philosophies to a detailed extent, it takes a lot of my time to write, and a lot of commitment from a reader to read in full.

Just like I say that a player shouldn't have to work through a game like a chore, readers shouldn't have to work through my articles.

I thought it would be fitting to make my first article back about concise storytelling and instruction in video games.

Introduction

Concise means: "Terseness and economy in writing and speaking achieved by expressing a great deal in just a few words"

Have you ever had a friend who tries to tell a story, or explain a concept - but, who gets so bogged down on the pointless details that you can't understand them?

And you're just tapping your foot, waiting for them to get to the point, and, even if they do, sometimes you don't understand?

Games are headed that way.

There are games that try to tell a story, or explain a gameplay mechanic - but, get so bogged down on the pointless details and backstory, that players don't bother paying attention.

The players just mindlessly tap 'A', waiting for the the cutscene or dialogue sequence to finish, and, when it does, the player doesn't even feel enriched.

It has to stop.

I would consider this problem to be a crime of hubris.

Designers need to always remember that they make the game for the players to enjoy, primarily. Badly designed communication often comes about when a company wants to show off their next generation cutscenes, or, thinks that every player wants to hear as much dialogue as can be thrown at them. Remember, the player is your priority.

Quality > Quantity

Nobody gains anything from lengthy dialogue and too-long-cutscenes. They intrude on the gameplay experience, and simply annoy players. Most players are just mashing their interact button and sighing, or taking a sip of their drink.

Unlike what you may think, storytelling is not enhanced with more words or time alloted to it. In novels, yes, there need to be a significant number of words allocated to setting up scenes, the nature of character interactions and mood - but don't be fooled. As much as you want your game to have a powerful story as if it's a novel, video games are a graphical medium. You don't need to write a novel to make a good story, as a large portion of the description is covered by the graphical elements of the game.

Dialogue, a major part of storytelling, needs to be direct and clear. Players want realistic dialogue - which, for the most part, is very brief in real life. As we covered before, people are irritated by others who cannot express themselves quickly, it is exactly the same in games and movies. Players find it very hard to sympathise with a dying character, who, for the last half of the game, they have been yelling at to "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!"

Concise writing makes good story telling, and will give you the powerful emotional moments that you want.

Ways to Fix These Issues:

#1 Optimisation of Dialogue

To get realistic, succinct dialogue, look at good TV shows. TV shows have to stay within either a 25 minute, or a 45 minute time slot - and so, the writing has to be very optimised so that an episode can cover however many plot points it needs to within that time limit. Try to find shows with a similar tone and plot layout to your game, and analyse it.

Quick list of some well written TV shows:

• Heroes (Season 1) (drama/action/mystery/sci-fi);
• Dexter (crime drama/suspense/black comedy);
• NCIS (comedy/crime drama);
• Scrubs (comedy/drama);
• Get Smart (comedy/parody/action);
• Supernatural (horror/thriller/mystery)
• Boston Legal (legal drama/comedy) (anything by David E. Kelley is good.)
• Avatar: The Last Airbender (adventure/fantasy/action/comedy)
• Etc. etc.

Another idea you can try is just saying the dialogue to yourself. If the wording sounds clumsy, you can often simplify it just by trying to express the point in your own words. Another idea that can help is imagining that you're saying it to someone who doesn't have much patience - because when it comes down to it, audiences often have little.

Try to also optimise cutscenes - don't make one for every level opening and after every remotely difficult enemy. Players will buy a movie if they want to watch a movie.

That said, some games use frequent cutscenes to great effect - such as Bioware's recent titles Mass Effect and Dragon Age. The main point I'm trying to get across, is that your players aren't playing for movies - and, if they are not well planned and executed, cutscenes can be an annoying, obtrusive obstacle to the player's enjoyment of the gameplay.

Whether they are sparse or common, by making well directed, interesting cutscenes, players will enjoy, and cherish them - considering them to be a great feature of the game.

A good case study for good cutscenes would be Borderlands. The cutscenes are short, limited to important characters and bosses, and have a good sense of humour. Players like them, and they capture the tone of the scene perfectly, while not intruding on gameplay at all.

#2 Make all Cutscenes and Dialogue Boxes Skippable.

Simple, eh?

This one doesn't really have to be explained. Make it so that there is a skip button for cutscenes, and that the 'skip command' will near-immediately go to the next message box when it comes to dialogue. Hopefully, if you've optimised your dialogue well, players won't want to skip text at all, but this means that they can if they want to - and, there won't be as much to skip.

Another point I'd like to make is, if there's an NPC that doesn't say much of value - please, one message box of dialogue only. Players hate to accidentally hit the interact button at the wrong time, and get roped into 5 lines of slow, useless dialogue.

#3 Less Intrusive Dialogue Boxes.

One development that has positively affected communications in games is persistent, but unobtrusive messages. They're usually found near the top of the screen, giving you information - but they do not take control away from your character to close them, and often close when a criteria has been met (you've executed the command that they are instructing you do to, etc.).

These are good.

Players can ignore them if they wish, but they still give information to those who need it. It is a far better system than a message box which takes control away from the character, especially because the player can execute the command as they read the message. Another advantage, is that it doesn't have to pop up to remind the player of the correct key presses, if they fail to do the keypresses the first time.

If you're going to give instructions to your player, I definitely recommend using the less obtrusive message boxes. Just remember to give your players a way to turn them off.

Optimising Messages - Examples

Here I'll just put down a couple of examples of intrusive and annoying messages in games, and I'll try to fix them up. Starting with the queen of painful buttonmashing, Nurse Joy.

(// designates a new Message box)

"Hello, and welcome to the Pokemon Center. //

We restore your tired Pokemon to full health //

Would you like to rest your Pokemon? ( YES / NO prompt) // (YES chosen)

[Animation, as your Pokemon jumps onto the counter and the Pokeballs are put into the machine]

OK, I'll take your Pokemon for a few seconds... //

Thank you for waiting. //

We've restored your Pokemon to full health. //

[Animation, as player puts balls in pocket]

Please, come back again any time!" //

~ Nurse Joy healing your Pokemon in Pokemon Heart Gold.

That's 7 messages, and 2 animations, just to heal your Pokemon. Something that you're doing a LOT in this game. It takes roughly 15 seconds when I buttonmash as fast as I can. That is infuriating.

What is even more infuriating, is that this game's Message Box allows for 2 lines of dialogue at any one time - and yet, Nurse Joy uses only one line for each message.

I would optimise it as such:

"Welcome to the Pokemon Center, would you like me to heal your Pokemon? (YES/NO prompt) //

[Much shortened animation, perhaps a second of the machine flashing]

Your Pokemon have been fully restored, good luck!" //

Finished. It should only take at most, 2-3 seconds.

And really, for an action that players will be doing time and time again - it should be as quick as possible.

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Another example would be in Final Fantasy Advance Tactics 2 (which, by the way, has a game-start sequence of several minutes that is unskippable, terrible.) - when the main character is being inducted into the clan that he fights for.

"Quick! Join our clan! Your bones may be broken while in our clan but you can never die!"
"Why should I join?"
[Bird pecks at main character]

"Because I can guarantee that you'll get no such offer from him!"

"Okay so what do I do?"

"Swear your oath to the Judge! Say you'll join the clan!"

[Long animation as the judge is summoned]

"That's a judge?"

"Quickly! Before the beast has time to act!" (this sequence has taken so long that really, by now, a turtle could have slaughtered them all...)

"Hey judge, I swear my oath, let me join the clan!"

[Animation]

"Woah check it out!"

[Animation as 2 birds appear]

"Ah, he's brough the little ones along to feed"

"Stand back stranger, we'll handle this lot!"

"Ready yourselves!"

"You're going to fight them?"

"Once you stand back as I've told you, yes."

"Hey let me take a swing at them, I've sworn my oath, right? I cannot be killed as you said!"

"Harrrumph! Spoken like a true greenhorn!"

"You cannot die, but, if you take a peck in the eye, you might wish you had"

"Well I didn't mean I'd go in first or anything. And I'm no fan of getting beaked."

[Battle Start]

Okay I'm actually going to cut it there - it's starting to annoy me. By the time you get to actually take your first action that isn't filling in your character sheet, you've spent 4 minutes and 14 seconds mashing 'A' (like I said, terrible). And, as you can tell, the dialogue, while in character, is mostly pointless.

If I were to alter the above scene, I'd recognise that

a) Luso must be inducted into the clan (or must he? Truthfully, I think that inducting him into the clan so quickly was a bit of a stretch, why not just throw him a sword and say "We'll teach you how to fight, as it's a dangerous world out there"?)

b) The two additional birds must appear.

c) Luso must find a reason to fight.

"Quick! Join our clan! We can protect you!"

[Luso runs to clan leader]

"Okay! So what do I do?"

"Swear your oath to the Judge! Say you'll join the clan!"

[Shorter animation as the judge is summoned]

"Hey judge, I swear my oath, let me join the clan!"

[Animation as 2 birds appear]

"There are more of them, we might need your help!"

"But I don't know how to fight!"

"We'll teach you along the way!"

[Battle Start]

I do respect the humour that was added in to the situation, but, with the fact that the introduction has already spanned over 3 minutes at this point, it should be cut short.

Also, as said, when the sequence of initiation has easily been nearly 25 seconds, the humor of "Oh my God! Do it quick or it'll eat us!" isn't that charming. It's more annoying, at least for my taste.

Conclusion

The Pros of Optimised Communication

• Better storytelling.
• Players will read and understand your communication.
• Experienced players can skip conversation that they have already witnessed.

The Cons of Badly Written Communication

• Players will mindlessly buttonmash until they're past the dialogue/cutscene.
• Players will feel contempt for the majority of characters who have lengthy dialogue.
• Players will feel alienated and annoyed.

How to make sure your Communication is Concise and Well Written

• Time your dialogue sequences and cutscenes, and evaluate how long it should take.
• Read the dialogue a few times, and see if any seems clumsily worded or annoying.
• Look for inspiration from well-written media.
• Act out scenes to yourself.
• Make sure dialogue and cutscenes can be skipped.
• Use unobtrusive message boxes.

I think I'm done.

Another article coming tomorrow.